What Does the Perfect Body Really Like and Why Does it Matter?
Is it worth the effort to work towards a perfect body? YES!
In this week’s post about diet, I mention eating right allows you to lose or gain weight to attain an optimally-attractive body type. This is a complex topic that deserves much more discussion. It’s also an unnecessarily-but-understandably emotional topic for most people. Almost all of us, at one time or another, has experienced some sort of negativity regarding our body, almost always due to other people’s judgment.
While it’s difficult to put the emotion associated body image in the rearview mirror, I’ve found it’s useful to think of attaining a more attractive body as a process. There’s no shame in being too fat or too skinny, there’s only shame in not doing anything to remedy the condition. No matter where you are right now, the only thing that matters is what you’re doing to get to where you want to be. This post discusses the “where you want to be” part. Yes, it’s difficult, but focusing on the right way to use willpower is a good way to be compassionate with yourself. If body image is a really serious issue for you, consider therapy. Talking this shit out makes a world of difference.
***Content Warning***
Before we get to the discussion, I need to make a point about happiness and contentment. If you have a less-than-ideal body and you’re perfectly happy with that, there’s no reason to change. Many people misconstrue my discussions on the topic as a personal attack on their bodies. Or their lifestyle. Or whatever. This is nothing of the sort. This entire project is centered around self-improvement based on empiricism and practical effectiveness. This post in particular is a frank discussion on what is attractive and why it is attractive. If you’re prone to emotional responses regarding body issues, it’s probably best to skip this post.
Anyway, how should we think about body type?
Attractiveness is Packaging
Think of how you look as being kinda like the packaging for the products we see in stores. The more appealing the packaging, the more likely others will “buy” the product. That’s you. By “buying”, I mean other people will be more open to socializing with you in any and all capacities. We have a ton of science that indicates attractiveness is one of the first and most powerful (and often unconscious) ways we assess each other, which sets a positive tone for all communication. So it’s hugely advantageous to be as attractive as we can be.
I know some of you are thinking “Jesus, that’s shallow! People should like each other fr what’s on the inside!” I don’t disagree. And what’s on the inside matters. A lot. We’ll talk about what’s on the inside frequently over the course of this year. But we don’t get the world we want; we get the world we have. And our species evolved to judge each other based on attractiveness. We have pretty good evidence body type is a reliable measure of desirable personality characteristics, which is probably why our preferences evolved the way they evolved.
Besides, we can’t show people what we have on the inside if they don’t give us a chance. They won’t know how good the product is if they’re not persuaded by the packaging.
Obviously, we’re not dressing in formal wear and employing professional stylists every time we leave the house, but taking a few simple steps will go a loooong way towards improving our social experiences. One of the simplest steps is to improve our body type by improving our diet, which was the gist of the diet post. If our body is the packaging that will sell us to others, we want the best packaging possible.
Signal Theory and First Impressions
How we look an how we act sends signals to other people that tells them a great deal of information about us. When we meet another person, we unconsciously notice, in order:
Size. How tall is that person? This is a threat assessment; the taller the person is, the more our sympathetic nervous system (fight or flight) is triggered. This is why big people make us more nervous when first approaching than small people. This is doubly true for women.
Shape and movement. Shape determines how healthy a person seems to be (which I discuss in the ‘Golden Ratio” section below.) How we walk is also a reliable signal for health, and also a signal for mental health. Our posture and facial expressions also signal our mental health.
Body Details (like sex, race, and age.) This is where we make all kinds of stereotypical assessments based on previous experience with people who are of a similar sex, race, and age.
Clothing. Clothing (how it fits and is it clean, mostly) signals mental health, the Big 5 personality characteristics, and a great deal of useful social information.
Jewelry and ornamentation. We use this information to judge what people believe, and what aesthetic tastes they have.
Grooming and smell. Are you clean, well-groomed, and smell pleasant? Or are you disheveled, dirty, and smell like a dumpster full of aged cheese and dirty diapers?
Behavioral traits (conversation skills, body language, eye contact, etc.) This is the point where most people assume social interactions
begin.”
This gives us a roadmap to improving our packaging to get to the other characteristics. When we meet someone, we unconsciously assess #1 (size), then #2 (shape and movement), then #3 (body details), and so on. Each characteristic can have a positive effect (good), neutral effect (no effect), or negative effect (bad.) That’s the gist of what I explain in the Social Score post. The more positives we see, the more we want to get to step #7 with that person (talk to them.) Too many negatives cause us to avoid that person.
To get an idea of how this works, think of someone you know personally who you consider to be really attractive. Imagine meeting that person for he first time. Go through the list an consider your impression of that person for each item on the list. Lots of positives, right?
Now consider a homeless schizophrenic person. Picture them in your mind. Now go through the list again. Lots of negatives, right?
Our goal throughout The Curvy Road Project is to improve as many of these as we can, which results in more positive social interactions. We can’t do a lot about the first item (size) other than wear raised heel shoes or have really big hair. But we can improve every other item on the list. The more we improve, the more attractive we become. The more attractive we become, the better social interactions we have. The better our social interactions, the more objectively and subjectively our life becomes.
This week’s topic is diet, which primarily affects shape, which is the second thing we notice about others after size. Some shapes are more attractive than others, so our goal is to have a body shape that registers as a positive, not a negative.
Different Packaging for Men and Women
Men and women have different body type standards that are considered “attractive.” This is pretty obvious; all we have to do is flip the sexes to make the point. Men who have a woman’s body type aren’t especially attractive. And women who have a men’s body type are equally unattractive.
It’s important to note there are qualities that are considered “universally attractive”, which almost all people agree are attractive, and qualities that fall into the “individual preferences” category, which will be attractive to a small minority. In a later post, I’ll talk about authenticity and the value of being yourself. Indeed, no matter what body type you have right now, male or female, there will be at least some people who are REALLY into you. But we’re here for self-improvement. So we’re going to do just that - improve. The goal is to increase the number of people who find your body type attractive. If you graphed this out, it would look something like this:
There are going to be a few people who find the “1” attractive. Same deal with the “9.” But our goal is to be around a “5.” The closer we get to that magic number, the more people will find our packaging appealing.
There has been some really interesting research done in this area, but the most convincing studies have been carried out in rather informal “research.” Here are a few:
An interesting study was done by Treadmill Reviews, which separated data by, among other groups, generations.
Another interesting study by Today (the morning show), which added an interesting twist - they asked men and women what they thought the ideal same-sex body type looked like. Both men and women thought a bigger chest on their own sex was more ideal than what each group said about their ideal in the opposite sex.
This final study, by Metro (the UK news outlet), essentially found the same results but from a slightly different angle.
Driven by Sexual and Social Selection (which changes rapidly), not just Natural Selection (which changes slowly)
All three point towards the same result - that “5” in my graph above is considered the ideal for both men and women. That should be the goal we’re working towards.
Does Body Fat and Muscle Mass Matter?
So far, we’ve only discussed a generic body type based on those crappy line drawings above. What about body composition? Does it matter if you’re ripped or doughy? Or does it just matter you’re close to that”5” on the chart?
As it turns out, body composition does matter, and both men and women find the same thing attractive - a body that’s capable of doing stuff and capable of surviving famine. This means both men and women prefer a moderately muscular body with a little bit of fat, with more muscle for men and more fat for women. The musculature allows us to engage in physical activities (like hunting, gathering, traveling long distances if needed, and having sex) while still surviving if the food supply runs out (by relying on our fat stores) and, in the case of women, get pregnant and carry the baby to term. I’ll discuss the case of women and body fat in the “golden ratios” section below.
If you need to visualize this ideal, think of athletes. In particular, think of swimmers. Freakishly-long arms and huge hands aside, swimmers, both male, and female are often used as examples of the ideal. They’re muscular, but also have enough body fat to be fairly buoyant and warm in cold pools. As the Today study hinted, men think huge, muscular dudes are the idea, and women think chicks with giant boobs and ass are the ideal. But the data simply doesn’t support that. This is good news; the ideal is pretty much attainable by anyone as long as you have time and consistency, which is exactly what we’re doing with this Project.
So what are these exact ideal body types?
The Golden Ratios
The “golden ratios” measure our body proportions. The idea is we have a male body preference and a female body preference that are considered the most aesthetically-pleasing (attractive.)
For women, the ideal proportion is a waist to hip ratio of 0.7. Measure your waist at the belly button and your hips at their widest point, then divide those numbers. The data suggests that magical 0.7 is a cue for peak fertility, regardless of BMI, body fat, body weight, or any other measure. If you’re a woman and you want to get the most benefit from your body type, don’t just indiscriminately lose weight. Work to get that ideal 0.7 waist to hips ratio.
For men, the most relevant is the shoulder to waist ratio for men, which is 1.6. Measure your shoulders at the arm pit, and your waist at the belly button, then divide. If you’re alone, the chest measurement (measured at the nipples) will work. The ideal chest to waist ratio is 1.4. Like females, this is largely independent of your BMI, body fat, etc., so the same advice applies. Put your efforts into getting that ratio, not indiscriminately losing (or gaining) weight.
So What’s the Deal With These Dudes?
There’s a special case that’s wrth noting, which is useful knowledge for men on a path to self-improvement. Guys with huge upper bodies and tiny tig legs. For example, this dude:
Ask any woman and they’ll tell you this look is ridiculous. Why? Evolutionarily speaking, upper body strength is not as important as lower body strength, and this look signals all kinds of bad things, physically and personality-wise. So why do we see the “I skip leg days” dudes? To understand this phenomenon, we have to understand what makes men tick.
In any given situation, men in close proximity will sort themselves into a social hierarchy. Most of the time, this hierarchy is determined by a complex mix of social dominance, prestige (what value the man adds to the group), and confidence in competence in whatever the situation calls for. But if the situation is ambiguous, men sort themselves by capacity for violence. The simplest measure - if the men were fighting, who would come out on top? The man who could kick everyone else’s ass is at the top of the hierarchy.
Upper body muscle hypertrophy (having big chest, shoulder, and arm muscles) is one of the key signals that a dude is capable, especially to men who are not skilled in fighting. That “I can kick your ass” signal is perceived as intimidation by the smaller, weaker dude. Lower body muscle hypertrophy (having big thighs and calves) is a far weaker signal. Certain men are driven to develop this body type because they’re weak in the social knowledge and skills and typically have low levels of competence in traits and skills valued by other men. So they rely on a perceived threat of violence to ascend social hierarchies.
Women find this look so repulsive (and comical) is because it signals a profound misunderstanding of social dynamics, which is likely covering up a lack of other traits women value.
We’ll discuss this issue in great detail later in the year. For the men following The Project, just know it’s not necessary to waste the time and energy (or using ‘roids or testosterone replacement) to get completely jacked. And for the love of god, don’t skip leg day! I’ll give you a lot easier, more effective, quicker, safer, and healthier options to get the same benefits of giant upper body muscles.
Conclusion
Bodily aesthetics matter, and it’s worth the effort to work towards a better shape. The first step is understanding what that shape is and why it matters. Do you need an ideal body to succeed socially? Absolutely not. But it does help. Throughout the rest of the year, we’ll discuss A LOT of ways we can have more positive social interactions. That’s plenty of time to work towards a better body shape. Just start working on getting better sleep, improving your diet, exercising, and mediatating (posts coming soon!)
~Jason
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